Stream of Consciousness — 5.

I started off this little blog-diary with a rant about how I’m struggling with my friendships.

The closer I’ve gotten to people, the more I’ve seen how judgemental the people I surround myself with are. Happy to criticize and insult people behind their backs, almost proud to do so. Fallen into little cliques. I feel like those characters in thriller movies who realize (often too late) that the killer is in the room with them.

I scrolled back to read one of those conversations and how it ended up where it was, and I realized I initiated the conversation by bringing up two people I didn’t like. A small but significant detail that I totally forgot about myself.

Until that moment, the thought I was having to myself was “is everyone like this, or do I specifically attract people like this?”

Now I wonder. Am I like this? Because this isn’t the type of person I want to be.